


Oil Paint Stains

by jamgrl



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Artist!Crowley, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Aziraphale is serving Looks, Babysitting, Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Crowley is an Auntie, F/F, Ficlet, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gardening!Aziraphale, Humans AU, Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), POV Crowley (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamgrl/pseuds/jamgrl
Summary: Crowley doesn’t mind babysitting her nephew Warlock while her wife is around to entertain him, but what will she do when Aziraphale isn’t home?ORCrowley isnotgreat with kids. But she has such a good heart!
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 41
Collections: Name That Author Round Two





	Oil Paint Stains

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a writing game challenge in the GO-Events Discord server. The challenge was to write a <500 word ficlet incorporating the line "I hated that wallpaper, anyway". I had so much fun participating and reading everyone's fics- if you are just stumbling upon this, be sure to check out the other amazing fics in this collection!!!

Crowley looked out the cottage window at her ridiculous wife. She was wearing an entire gardening get up, complete with floppy straw hat, corduroy overalls with tartan pockets, and a ribbon tied around her neck. Where did she even get that outfit? Crowley didn’t think she had ever seen Aziraphale garden in her life.

But there she was, wearing stolen gardening gloves (she had the gall to buy an entire outfit but forget the only actually necessary thing for gardening?), digging in the dirt with Crowley’s nephew, Warlock.

They were probably ruining Crowley’s planters, but at least Warlock seemed to be happy, playing with slugs and other critters he found. Aziraphale was much better with children than Crowley was. So that she had Aziraphale to entertain Warlock while Crowley was tasked with babysitting him for a week, Crowley was thankful.

And perhaps Crowley didn’t mind that Aziraphale had stolen her gardening gloves. They looked cute on her.

Crowley’s avoidance of being the one in charge of the kid couldn’t last forever, though. They had him for an entire week, and Aziraphale had never missed her Thursday night book club meeting. She couldn’t exactly bring a five year old, at least, it wouldn’t have made any sense when Crowley didn’t have anything else to do and it was  _ her  _ nephew, anyways.

What was Crowley going to do with Warlock for the whole night? She didn’t have any kid things. Warlock had too much energy to sit and watch children’s television. She couldn’t just lock him up in a crate until Aziraphale returned. Crowley may not have been great with kids, but she knew they weren’t dogs.

Kids were supposed to like crafts, right? Crowley didn’t have construction paper or pipe cleaners or any of the things that people are supposed to give kids for crafting. She  _ did  _ have several unused canvases and a lot of tubes of oil paint. Time to play Bob Ross with little Warlock.

Crowley was responsible, she thought. She put Warlock into one of her old T-shirts so he could wear it as a dress and not get paint on any of his clothes. She dug out all those magazines and catalogues she and Aziraphale had never ordered and used them to paper the dining room table. She went to the loo, that was it! She couldn’t help needing to go to the loo. And when she returned, she found that little Warlock had managed to get paint in his hair, all over his body, under the magazines and onto the dining table, and to Crowley’s horror, all over the walls.

Crowley cleaned up Warlock and the table as best she could, but there was nothing she could do about the paint dried onto the wallpaper.

When Aziraphale got home, Crowley was ready for the worst. A fight or tears.

But Aziraphale only beamed, smothering Crowley and Warlock in hugs and admiring Warlock’s abstract take on a slug.

“I hated that wallpaper, anyway,” she said.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feel free to chat with me on tumblr ([jamgrlsblog](https://jamgrlsblog.tumblr.com/))!


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